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The Day My Bully Met My Mom: A Lesson in Standing Up

Back then, school in Uganda wasn’t quite the same as today. Some students were much older than us in primary school, and I’m talking much older. Some of the “boys” in the upper primary classes in my school had wives, kids, and their own houses but were still stuck in primary school. It wasn’t uncommon to hear some of them being called ‘won boy’ in the Acholi language, a polite way of referring to someone who has fathered a son. One of these characters was Labongo. He hailed from St. Mary’s Lacor, a small town about 6 kilometers West of Gulu town in Uganda. Labongo was way older than us but was in Primary Three class with us at Christ the King Demonstration Primary School. He was an absolute nightmare.   Labongo would show up to class in football boots—screws and all. You’d expect to see the kind of shoes on a soccer field, not in a classroom. I’m not sure if he knew any better or couldn’t afford proper shoes, but those boots were his weapon. They weren’t just for kicking balls;...
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How I Beat a Bully and Learned to Stand Up for Myself

Growing up, life wasn't exactly straightforward. I lost my dad when I was seven, and my mom, a teacher, did her best to raise me and my siblings. We lived in two tiny grass tukuls at the school where she worked. I didn't realize how poor we were until I came of age. Everyone around us at the time was poor, and while things weren't always easy, we got by.   But one thing that made school particularly tough for me was bullying. I have big eyes, and kids loved to point that out. "You look like a frog!" "You've got owl eyes!" It was harsh, and every time they said it, I felt smaller and smaller. I was always sad, and the last thing I wanted to do was go to school. My mom didn't fully understand the weight of what I was going through. She had a lot on her plate, trying to care for four kids while teaching full-time. I didn't think my mother could do anything to help my situation, so I kept it all inside.   But there were days when the bull...

Managing Staff in Conflict Zones and the Hidden Price of Doing the Right Thing; Upholding Accountability.

Managing a team in conflict zones can be a different ball game depending on the context and organization. Forget about the usual office politics or the daily "Did you sign the form?" issues. Here, firing someone can quickly escalate from an HR matter to something that threatens your safety. Sometimes, doing the right thing requires extreme care, balancing the organisation's policies and the reality of working in a volatile environment.   My adventure in South Sudan started with a lot of unsolicited advice. Before coming to South Sudan, a colleague I met in Cape Town said, "If you want to survive in South Sudan, stay away from South Sudanese women." Another added, "Only drink bottled water." But the one warning that stuck with me was from a friend who had worked in the region. He said, "Stay clear of firing Staff. In South Sudan, terminating someone's contract can be dangerous." At the time, I didn't fully grasp the depth of this a...

Surviving the Rules of the Gun: Lessons on Power and Resilience from South Sudan

Working in South Sudan taught me lessons about power, authority, and survival that I'll never forget. Some moments were uncomfortable, others eye-opening, but all were crucial in helping me understand working in the context of conflict.   Growing up in Uganda in the 1990s, my view of soldiers was shaped by fear. Soldiers were figures of authority who couldn't be questioned. I remember the violence of the National Resistance Army (NRA) and later the Uganda People's Defense Forces (UPDF) in northern Uganda. They were often brutal and showed little regard for civilians' rights.   This fear of soldiers stayed with me as I got older. In 2015, I took a Hostile Environment Awareness Training (HEAT) course in South Africa, where the trainer made one thing very clear: "The man or woman with a gun makes the rules." The message was simple: when dealing with soldiers, you obey.   When I arrived in South Sudan in 2015, I found myself in a situation that would challenge eve...

Turning the Tide: A Young Manager's Journey to Revitalize an Underperforming Project in South Sudan

When I landed in Kuajok, Warrap State, South Sudan, in March 2015, I had no idea what awaited me. The project I was stepping into, funded by the World Bank, was meant to improve local governance and service delivery. However, instead of having a project ready to launch, I faced many problems. It was months behind schedule, underperforming, and the team I was inheriting seemed just as lost as the project itself.   As a young manager with little field experience in a place like South Sudan, the pressure was intense. To make matters worse, I had no laptop, proper induction, and little information on the work so far. The first quarterly report was fast approaching, and there was nothing to report. The task seemed insurmountable, and I felt the weight of everyone's expectations resting on my shoulders. But panic wasn't an option. I knew I had to find a way to turn things around.   I drew on lessons from my previous job with the Norwegian Refugee Council, where I worked unde...

Snakes in the Grass: Tales from South Sudan

People always say humanitarian work is full of sacrifices. But let me tell you, you don't get what that means until you're out in the field, deep in a place like South Sudan. I spent over five years working in South Sudan with three different organizations and trust me, it's a place where challenges are as constant as the dust in the air. I've seen everything from navigating political tensions with the government to figuring out how to motivate a team under extreme stress. But none of the challenges were as disturbing as the ones I encountered with snakes.   Now, South Sudan is infamous for being a snake country. Every time you step outside, you must keep your eyes on the ground—especially in Upper Nile, Warrap, Jonglei, and Pibor Administrative areas where I worked. Snakes were everywhere. In the bushes, the compounds, and sometimes even inside your room. I'm not talking about some harmless little garden snakes but the big, venomous ones. Imagine walking barefoot i...

The Great Sacred Heart Secondary School Escape: How I Got Arrested for Flirting

In 1998, I joined Bishop Angelo Negri College in Gulu, Uganda. I was an adolescent. Little did I know that my adolescent adventures would soon lead me to a police arrest at a girls' school, a shirtless 'sentence', and an unforgettable lesson. Bishop Angelo Negri College is a boy boarding school owned by the catholic church. Students from diverse cultural and religious backgrounds attended Negri College school then. Being a single-sex school, the lack of female company was a significant problem. Our solution was simple: escape our school's confines and go to other schools with girls. Though fenced and heavily guarded, the neighbouring Sacred Heart Secondary School was too tempting to resist. So, my friends and I would often sneak out of Negri College school to chat with the occasional Sacred Heart School girls through their school fence or simply walk past the school and enjoy seeing beautiful girls moving around the school campus. This was the charm at the time, and w...