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The Unforgettable Journey: A Tale of Bladders and Bottles

In 2005, my friends, cousin, and I travelled from Gulu, Uganda, to Kampala to attend my cousin Douglas's graduation party. He had just graduated from Makerere University Business School with a bachelor’s degree, and we were excited to celebrate this significant milestone with him. The party took place at our uncle's home in Ntinda, and it was a fantastic event filled with food and drinks. The party ended on Saturday night, and we planned to travel back to Gulu on Sunday so we could be in school on Monday. Before leaving, we were invited to enjoy some leftovers and drink at our uncle's place. We indulged in the food and drinks, not knowing that these choices would later cause problems on our journey back to Gulu.

Our Troubles Begin

Sundays are typically not the best days to travel by public transportation. There are usually fewer travellers, and buses often take longer to find enough passengers before departing. It was a common practice for bus owners to cancel trips if they didn't have enough travellers to fill the seats. However, we were young and naive, and the excitement of being with friends overshadowed any concern we should have had. We left Ntinda around 1:00 pm to go to the bus park and arrived in town within an hour. Unfortunately, there were only a few passengers, so the bus did not leave on time in hopes of finding more travellers. Eventually, at around 4:00 pm, the bus departed Kampala for Gulu. During this time, northern Uganda was plagued by insecurity due to the presence of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA). Ambushes on civilian vehicles by the LRA and other armed groups were common occurrences. As a result, the Uganda People's Defense Forces (UPDF) enforced a restriction that prohibited vehicles from crossing the Karuma Bridge to Gulu after 8:00pm. Travellers heading to Gulu from Kampala prioritised reaching Karuma before 8:00pm to avoid being stopped by security forces. In an attempt to beat the restriction and arrive in Karuma on time, our bus driver sped recklessly. To prevent any delays, the driver bypassed planned stopovers, and this decision marked the beginning of our troubles.

My friend Jeff and I found ourselves in a predicament on the bus to Gulu. Our bladders were full, and we desperately needed a bathroom break. Typically, the bus stops in Mijeera for passengers to use the urinals, but this time, the driver refused to stop. We asked the conductor to speak to the driver on our behalf, but he could not persuade him to stop. The driver believed it would cause a delay and we would only reach Karuma after 8:00 PM. Despite our attempts to convince him, walking back and forth in the aisle, the driver remained unmoved. It seemed impossible to hold it in for another 100 kilometres, so we had to come up with a plan B.

One of the male travellers on the bus overheard our predicament and suggested we relieve ourselves through the window since the driver wasn't cooperative. Another male passenger kindly offered us empty water bottles to use instead. We decided to go with the bottle option, but a lady seated across from us kept staring at us and appeared curious about our intentions with the water bottles. Her gaze made us too uncomfortable to proceed. The more we tried to use the bottle, the more she seemed curious and continued to fix her eyes on us. I gave up, but my friend insisted and managed to find some relief. I was left in agony, so I confronted the conductor and threatened to urinate through the window if the bus didn't stop. Luckily, he devised a plan. He would inform the driver that the trunk was open and some luggage might fall out. The driver would then stop, and I would promptly exit, regardless of the location or onlookers. We executed the plan, and that's exactly what I did. It was only then that I realized people were watching when I overheard a nearby woman say, "This boy's bladder was killing him," while others laughed at me. Despite the embarrassment, the relief I felt was indescribable, and I couldn't care less who saw me. The conductor pretended to lock the trunk as I relieved myself. The plan worked flawlessly, and once back on the bus, we made it to Karuma before 8:00 PM. The army allowed us to proceed on our journey to Gulu.

The moral of the story is that when you're travelling, it's important to plan wisely and be prepared for unexpected challenges. Sometimes, you must "think outside the bottle" to find solutions to your problems.

 

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